Monday, October 4, 2010

Scum-Sucking Carnies

We've been reading a book with Rowan every night about a carnival.  Mainly it's a story to teach kids not to blow their money on the games and have fun going on the rides.  Lucky for me I found an ad for a carnival in a neighboring town and I opened my big mouth and said we should go.

I did think this was a pretty good carnival.  I was also spying on the arts and crafts booths to get ideas for an upcoming festival I'll have a booth at.  In case you're not aware, you do not take pictures of other people's art and crafts tables unless you want to get beat up.  You also do not blatantly take notes or sketches.  You hold your phone just right and pretend you are texting and receiving a really funny text from your friend and snap the pic quick, then continue chuckling as you pretend you are texting them back while walking away. 

There's was lots of carnival food.  And lots of long lines.  I did wait in one line for the funnel cake.  It was huge.  It was worth the wait.  Next time we'll take a 5 pound bag of sugar and just give Rowan a spoon. 

Next and mostly there were the rides.  I buy the bracelet for unlimited rides.  When I grew up I didn't get an unlimited ride bracelet.  I also didn't get funnel cake.  By God I will not let Rowan live a life of torture!
So that I could do all that sneaking around the craft booths, Jace got an unlimited ride bracelet, too.  And that's where we should have stopped.  But part of the book we've been reading was about the games.  So I coached them both about how this was going to go down.  Let Rowan lose or win a dinky prize and we walk away.  Right?  Easy plan. 

We walked up to the balloon game.  A cigarette smoking, half toothless grin, twinkle in his eye carnie knew just what to do.  We paid for 3 darts.  Rowan threw her's at the balloon but it landed on the ground.  Jace took the other two and popped the balloons.  The carnie gave him another dart "on him" and Jace missed.  I said to stop.  The carnie smoothed talked him a few more times but was talking so fast and LYING to a little girl about which was the large size prize...We lost $15 at that dumb game.  He convinced Rowan she was getting the giant prize and then handed her a medium one.  Then I was mad.  Jace took Rowan on some more rides and was thinking it might be good idea to stay on the ride till the next day when I would be in a better mood.  I fumed and hoped the carnie's trailor would explode in a ball of flame that night.

I have 2 more festivals coming up.  One will not have a carnival and I will have a great time.  One will have a carnival but I will eat my money before I give it to any scum-sucking carnie running a scam game.


  1. But no problems, right? :) Rides rock but the games are creepy.

  2. Yeah, they all smoke so it's creepy when a gravel voiced zombie asks if you wanna play the balloon game. Jace said they were all smoking the same cigarettes, like they buy them in bulk or something. But yes, it was fun except for the me getting mad at the carnie part.