Today I'm doing work related things and since I don't talk about work it's Top Secret.
In other news, the dental saga still lives on. When we last left off I thought everything was settled. But alas, things do not seem to be going my way.
I decided to call the office to verify my appointment time and find out what they had found out about all our fantastic new benefits and how great my life was now going to be. I confirmed my appointment time, which was different than what they had told me. Eight o'clock is different than ten o'clock. Otherwise I would show up to work 2 hours late and call it the same difference. Then I asked one of those regrettable questions...Did you verify all the benefits and what are the new numbers?
"Well, the information you gave us is an HMO and you basically only get a discount. Your husband's coverage terminated on December 31st and we don't have any new insurance information for him." At this time Jace was in open enrollment but they had given him the basic plan on January 1st, even though his enrollment doesn't end till the 15th. So he's in this sort of floating gap coverage period, instead of just extending the old insurance up until the new insurance kicks in.
"So what's the cost under my insurance?" I innocently ask. They couldn't give me an answer. So basically they have no idea. And they didn't call me back to let me know all this. They were going to let me walk in thinking we were good to go, get the procedure, and then STICK ME WITH A BIG FAT BILL! A $2700 bill. What is wrong with these people?!
I cancelled my appointment. I had to. This was the third time I'd had a run in with these office people. How many times does God need to tell you that this is a bad idea? So we are free and unentangled and don't owe anything to this swine. (<-favorite word to call scamming scheisters and like ilk)
But it gets worse, sort of. Now Jace has finished enrollment. Yippee! We can move on with life. "But I can't find any dentists listed here in town that take the insurance you got," Jace tells me. So we first come up with this plan that I'll go talk to my first dentist and see if he takes the insurance and maybe he's just not listed. That happens. Then I decide I'll call and just dump this coverage and go back to my old coverage. This is smart because otherwise I would be paying for an HMO that I can't use. I'm going to get back on my old coverage. I try to do this on the computer. No luck. I'll call and talk to the nice lady. And she is nice. We make all the changes. I'm home free. "Why don't you add Me and Rowan?" Jace asks. O.k., I have her on the phone and this is going smooth. I give her all the information. Clack, clack, clack on her keyboard. Then she stops clacking. You know that millisecond of time when you know something is different and your fortune has changed? That was that millisecond. "Is your husband covered under TopSecretCompany, too?" she asks. "Yes, they just switched over and he just finished enrollment," I answer. It turns out, apparently, that if you are a TopSecretCompany couple then you can't be dependents of each other. What this means is that we can't both carry dental coverage on each other. This sucks. A lot.
Both of us carrying dental on everyone meant DOUBLE DENTAL. This is good stuff. In a world where dental will only give you a max benefit of $1500 or so per year, having double dental means you just upped your benefits to $3000 per year. This means when you get a crown and your first insurance pays and then you think you're getting stuck still paying for half of it, your second insurance comes in and pays the other half. You end up paying $0. But now that Jace and I are both affiliates of TopSecretCompany we can't do this. Only one of us can carry the insurance. So I had to dump mine.
All of this to say I now have a tummyache and a headache and I need to go cower under my covers and feel all boo-hooey. (Refer back to the PTSD post) I've had it up to "here" for today.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I Didn't Die!
The sound was enormous. I thought it was thunder but the sky was clear. Maybe an earthquake or tornado? I rounded the corner on my walk towards the stadium. The sound grew louder. As I approached the stadium the sound became deafening. The moment of truth had come.
I walked into the stadium. There had to be at least 100,000 people. Not that I was counting. The sun was bright and the sky blue. The crowd quieted when they saw me. I could hear nothing but the fluttering of the Olympic flag. Then the crowd broke out in loud cheers.
I waved and smiled at all the fans around me. I walked quickly to my place on the starting line. I was running the race of my life with 9 others. They looked puny and weak. Not like me, sculpted and sleek. I knew what they were quickly realizing. The didn’t have a chance against me. I was going to leave them in the dust…
Or so the fantasy goes. I did my run for today. Here’s the real numbers. I warmed up for 5 minutes, walking .12 mile. I was thinking this is going to be a breeze if I went this far in the warm up. I ran/jogged/danced for 20 minutes for a distance of .87 mile!!! I had to mix up the arm work to keep interested. My max speed was 4 mph (so I can outrun a bear going 3 mph). I finished with a cool down for 5 minutes with an ending distance of 1.15 miles. I burned 115 calories.
If you play with the numbers you’ll figure out at that pace I would go a distance of 2.3 miles per hour. It will take me approximately 13 hours to finish a full marathon. That’s very inspiring.
Things I learned today: I didn’t die. It was easier than I thought it would be. I’m a really slow runner right now, but I did finish my target workout time. I ran much further than I thought I would. I could have run longer but didn’t want to push my luck. I do better listening to the news instead of music.
Next anticipated run will be Thursday. Look out Mile! You’re not as big as you used to be. Now I’m off to lift rocks for the garden…the fun never ends.
I walked into the stadium. There had to be at least 100,000 people. Not that I was counting. The sun was bright and the sky blue. The crowd quieted when they saw me. I could hear nothing but the fluttering of the Olympic flag. Then the crowd broke out in loud cheers.
I waved and smiled at all the fans around me. I walked quickly to my place on the starting line. I was running the race of my life with 9 others. They looked puny and weak. Not like me, sculpted and sleek. I knew what they were quickly realizing. The didn’t have a chance against me. I was going to leave them in the dust…
Or so the fantasy goes. I did my run for today. Here’s the real numbers. I warmed up for 5 minutes, walking .12 mile. I was thinking this is going to be a breeze if I went this far in the warm up. I ran/jogged/danced for 20 minutes for a distance of .87 mile!!! I had to mix up the arm work to keep interested. My max speed was 4 mph (so I can outrun a bear going 3 mph). I finished with a cool down for 5 minutes with an ending distance of 1.15 miles. I burned 115 calories.
If you play with the numbers you’ll figure out at that pace I would go a distance of 2.3 miles per hour. It will take me approximately 13 hours to finish a full marathon. That’s very inspiring.
Things I learned today: I didn’t die. It was easier than I thought it would be. I’m a really slow runner right now, but I did finish my target workout time. I ran much further than I thought I would. I could have run longer but didn’t want to push my luck. I do better listening to the news instead of music.
Next anticipated run will be Thursday. Look out Mile! You’re not as big as you used to be. Now I’m off to lift rocks for the garden…the fun never ends.
Physician Clearance
Something you’ll read on every diet aid or exercise contraption/gadget is a warning to see your doctor before starting an exercise program. For the benefit of this blog and to seem like I’m conforming I’m posting this interview I had with a physician yesterday. I’ll call him Dr. Anonymous.
*The official disclaimer* There’s probably very little truth in here, but there is some. We’ll call it embellished and fairy tales. This is in no way to advise an actual person on starting an exercise program, ie do not sue me.
Dr.: Hi Julie. How’s it goin?
J: Fine. Listen, I’m doing a post for my blog and I was wondering if I could interview you anonymously?
Dr.: ….
J: It’s a real topic. I got a treadmill and I want to start an exercise program. I’d like to know what you would recommend, knowing me and my health.
Dr.: Well, where are you starting at?
J: I did a trial run on the treadmill. I didn’t prepare or warm up. I just got on and ran for .18 mile.
Dr.: *rolling eyes* That’s pretty low. The recommendation is to increase your distance by 10% each week.
J: Isn’t that like -2 in my case?
Dr.: In your case you may want to up that just a little. But 10% is the recommendation. And of course go for 30 minutes 3 times per week. Any more would cause a chance for an increase in injuries.
J: I noticed you seem to be in pain and limping. Why is that?
Dr.: I ran about 20 miles and hurt myself.
J: …dude, you need a car. So if I increase my distance by 10% that’s .018. Next time I should try to run .198?
Dr.: Yes. And in your case you need to premedicate with 2 puffs from your inhaler. Since you have asthma, it could be highly likely that you’ll have an asthma attack and die a slow horrible death. But it’s great that you want to exercise. *big smile*
J: ...*pondering*...So can I use the cup holder on the treadmill for beer?
Dr.: It’s a good way to get the carbohydrates you need for running. Absolutely.
J: Well, thank you Dr. Anonymous for your help. I’ll be giving you updates about my progress. Hope you can walk the rest of the day. *waving bye*
Next post…How I Died A Slow Horrible Death On The Treadmill…
*The official disclaimer* There’s probably very little truth in here, but there is some. We’ll call it embellished and fairy tales. This is in no way to advise an actual person on starting an exercise program, ie do not sue me.
Dr.: Hi Julie. How’s it goin?
J: Fine. Listen, I’m doing a post for my blog and I was wondering if I could interview you anonymously?
Dr.: ….
J: It’s a real topic. I got a treadmill and I want to start an exercise program. I’d like to know what you would recommend, knowing me and my health.
Dr.: Well, where are you starting at?
J: I did a trial run on the treadmill. I didn’t prepare or warm up. I just got on and ran for .18 mile.
Dr.: *rolling eyes* That’s pretty low. The recommendation is to increase your distance by 10% each week.
J: Isn’t that like -2 in my case?
Dr.: In your case you may want to up that just a little. But 10% is the recommendation. And of course go for 30 minutes 3 times per week. Any more would cause a chance for an increase in injuries.
J: I noticed you seem to be in pain and limping. Why is that?
Dr.: I ran about 20 miles and hurt myself.
J: …dude, you need a car. So if I increase my distance by 10% that’s .018. Next time I should try to run .198?
Dr.: Yes. And in your case you need to premedicate with 2 puffs from your inhaler. Since you have asthma, it could be highly likely that you’ll have an asthma attack and die a slow horrible death. But it’s great that you want to exercise. *big smile*
J: ...*pondering*...So can I use the cup holder on the treadmill for beer?
Dr.: It’s a good way to get the carbohydrates you need for running. Absolutely.
J: Well, thank you Dr. Anonymous for your help. I’ll be giving you updates about my progress. Hope you can walk the rest of the day. *waving bye*
Next post…How I Died A Slow Horrible Death On The Treadmill…
Sunday, January 10, 2010
My New Frenemy
A friend told me a quote found in front of a gym. “When the aliens get here the fatties will get eaten first.” This saying is not for thin skinned people. People eating their 2,000 calorie burger with their Diet Coke… “Who does this gym think they are?”
If you are like me then you are now approaching middle age(s) and everything is starting to fall into place. Some things faster than others and with the help of gravity. All the hoaky wisdom of all the old people who don’t know how things really are. You know what I’m talkin bout. Drink your water, eat your veggies, go play outside.
Now if you’re also like me, and many of you are not, then your “exercise program” consisted of drinking too much, smoking, staying up all night, and sunbathing without sunscreen to get that good base tan. Until now God and hairspray has kept everything where it’s supposed to be. Fast forward to 35. Gone is the drinking and smoking and sunbathing. I’m still not exercising because I can’t seem to schedule it into my hectic life. And 35 is the new 20 so I’m really not 35. Right?
Please come with me to the age of 39. Now the people dropping dead in the obituaries aren’t quite so much older. And it’s right before 40. Official oldness. Ask any young person. Getting an exercise routine is now more about staying alive than staying fit. All the studies say you have to exercise or you’ll get every disease and syndrome known to mankind.
Of course you have to pick an exercise that you like, or might come in handy later on. I’m choosing running/jogging that may closely resemble crawling/gasping. I’m picking this because one day I would like to live further north in the mountains and there will probably be bears. I can easily envision being outside and having some terrible accident where I get covered in A1 steak sauce and here comes a bear with a bib on. A bib with a picture of me instead of a lobster. So I need to be able to run. Kind of fast but just fast enough to outrun you, or whoever I’m with. You know that old joke.
At this time my running is not to train for a marathon. I have the weird opinion they look like cattle drives. I may change my mind when I want a huge crowd of people to see that I can run X number of miles. For now I’m going to run simply because I can’t do it. It’s a complicated goal. It’s not: I can run a MILE. It’s: I CAN run a mile. That’s the best way I can explain it.
Today is the first day that I will take Frenemy with me. I will run as far, and controlled, as I possibly can. You readers will be an inspiration because I don’t want to come back with a readout of .1 (or less). I will jog my little heart out. Jace will come along and scrape me off the road like road kill. And when I get back I can show you this:
The day turned out longer than I expected and I just took a trial run. The display says “0.21” but it really was 0.18 miles.* This is our starting point. This is what we’re working with. I told you I sucked at running.
My next “run” will be on Tuesday afternoon. Hopefully the display will say 0.2 and not have a flat line on the cardiac monitor.
*Jace’s cousin gave us a treadmill! For FREE!!! It even has a fan. A FAN.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Thrill of Entitlement
"I am four years old and I'm getting my first pair of roller skates. I already know I'm so good that I will never fall. I'm the perfect skater. I'm fabulous!" Thursday, January 7, 2010
Rough Drafts and Things I'm Working On
I was reading a blog the other day and it mentioned things that sometimes happen when writing a rough draft and what eventually makes it into the post. The blog said a bunch of other mumbo jumbo but this is what I remember most. A rough draft. That really made me chuckle. I've never written a rough draft before. It has occured to me to write one, but would it spoil the spontaneity?
So in the quest for an ever better blog I may start doing the rough draft thing. But not today. Today I'm working on the blog appearance. You'll notice different tidbits popping up on the side. These should relate to things I'm working on or have finished.
Speaking of things I'm working on. I have several goals in progress. I would like to read one book per month. I have technically done this for January. I'd like to be able to jog for at least a mile. I suck at exercising. Get the gardens ready for spring planting. It's harder than you think to go outside and do prep work and build raised gardens and rock walls when it's cold! It doesn't sound like a lot but when these are accomplished I can add different goals.
I'm hoping to achieve many things this year and will gladly report all my successes...and maybe failures. I'll leave you with a quote I heard today. "Berlin is a perfect example of what it means to not speak out, not stand up for your beliefs." -Samantha Brown
So in the quest for an ever better blog I may start doing the rough draft thing. But not today. Today I'm working on the blog appearance. You'll notice different tidbits popping up on the side. These should relate to things I'm working on or have finished.
Speaking of things I'm working on. I have several goals in progress. I would like to read one book per month. I have technically done this for January. I'd like to be able to jog for at least a mile. I suck at exercising. Get the gardens ready for spring planting. It's harder than you think to go outside and do prep work and build raised gardens and rock walls when it's cold! It doesn't sound like a lot but when these are accomplished I can add different goals.
I'm hoping to achieve many things this year and will gladly report all my successes...and maybe failures. I'll leave you with a quote I heard today. "Berlin is a perfect example of what it means to not speak out, not stand up for your beliefs." -Samantha Brown
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Whiling away my Sunday
I'm not even sure that whiling is an actual word. Being from Texas means I can get away with making up hick words and saying hick things like y'all and tump over.
Today we went to IHOP and sat in a very claustrophobic restaurant and ate smiley faced pancakes and omelettes. Now we'll spend the rest of the day whiling away the hours doing odds and ends.
I'll get my coupons in order. I bought 2 newspapers this time. We'll do some housework which can be soothing sometimes as it brings order to one's life. Don't worry we won't get crazy with it.
We let Rowan play around with the camera and these are some photos she took or wanted taken. This one is her and her ole Pa. Notice her stomach hanging out of her Hello Kitty shirt.
This one she took. Even though it's blurry I really like it. Even though Rowan can be a pain, and I'm allowed to say that because she's too young to know I'm writing this, this is basically how we feel when we're all together and she's around. Just plain happy. Content.
And this one is Rowan looking at the camera and pressing the button saying something like, "press it like this?" Yes, Rowan, just like that.
And this is a picture of the lamp she took. It's actually very artistic. Good placement and the lighting is very good. Duh. It's a lamp.
And now for all those thinking how cute Rowan is. This is a picture of what she has done today before noon. Real cute. Somehow she managed to squirt orange paint 10+ feet across the island and into the open dishwasher. So much for whiling away the hours.
Today we went to IHOP and sat in a very claustrophobic restaurant and ate smiley faced pancakes and omelettes. Now we'll spend the rest of the day whiling away the hours doing odds and ends.
I'll get my coupons in order. I bought 2 newspapers this time. We'll do some housework which can be soothing sometimes as it brings order to one's life. Don't worry we won't get crazy with it.
We let Rowan play around with the camera and these are some photos she took or wanted taken. This one is her and her ole Pa. Notice her stomach hanging out of her Hello Kitty shirt.
This one she took. Even though it's blurry I really like it. Even though Rowan can be a pain, and I'm allowed to say that because she's too young to know I'm writing this, this is basically how we feel when we're all together and she's around. Just plain happy. Content.
And this one is Rowan looking at the camera and pressing the button saying something like, "press it like this?" Yes, Rowan, just like that. 
And this is a picture of the lamp she took. It's actually very artistic. Good placement and the lighting is very good. Duh. It's a lamp.
And now for all those thinking how cute Rowan is. This is a picture of what she has done today before noon. Real cute. Somehow she managed to squirt orange paint 10+ feet across the island and into the open dishwasher. So much for whiling away the hours. 
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