I'm Gonna Beat Your Kid Senseless..

That's right. At least that's what one woman in Hobby Lobby would like to think...Shall we start the story?


I was in Hobby Lobby the other day. Almost innocently. They were having a sale on McCall's patterns for $$1.99. Now c'mon, how can I pass that up? For all you non-sewing people these patterns usually run $11.95-$18.95 per pattern.


Even if I don't sew that often, I might. And then when I wanted to I wouldn't have a pattern and then the anguish would set in. I need patterns!


So I'm in Hobby Lobby quietly looking through the McCall's book trying to decide which patterns to pick out of 1000 pages. I found 4 and I'm writing the numbers down. Minding. My. Own. Business.


"If You Don't Behave And Shutup That Lady Over There Is Going To Beat You Senseless!" "!!"... Pause for dramatic effect...However, there was no pause for dramatic effect in the store before my mouth opened...and I looked the lady right in the eye and said nice and loud, "NO." Also throw in the raised eyebrows and the sister slang. And that "lady" then gave ME a dirty look.


I'm sorry, have I completely lost my mind? There are sooo many things wrong with that situation. I thought I would've gotten over it but it still riles me so now I'm blogging it. And now the rant...


Dear Crazy Lady at Hobby Lobby. What is wrong with you? You are a lame parent. Lame lame lame. You are in Hobby Lobby. You have one kid between you and your friend and you still can't control them. I have one kid who would walk across fire if I told them to (and I don't beat them). And you dain to say that I will beat them senseless? I should beat you senseless for trying to make me look like the big mean disciplinarian when I'm minding my own business and I've never even met you or your kid. Your kid, who I was silently wishing would shut up because their lazy parent has never taught them to behave in public. Me, silently wishing, because I learned how to behave in public. I'm mad. Mad, because you are a perfect example of everything that is wrong with kids and parenting these days. Placating, political correctness, afraid to parent, simply don't know how to parent. Me wishing that Candance was there with me, because she knows the evils children will commit. AND you gave me a dirty look? Because I won't conspire with you?

It makes me sad. I wish I could have had the conversation I had with another young mother with that lady. This young mother was lamenting how her housework was in shambles and there wasn't time for her to exercise. I asked what her kids were doing. She said they were in gymnastics and this and that. I said again, "What..are..your..kids..doing?" She didn't understand. So I told her that her household was a business and there was no way she could run it herself. There's a line I take from Shiny Red Houses: You have to do work. It's stuff we don't like to do, that's why it's called work. I told the young mother you make the kids work for you and the gymnastics and other stuff follows. Everything else is a priveledge, not a right. That includes everything except food, shelter, and clothing.

I can say at the end of that conversation the young mother said I had opened her eyes and she realized she was letting her kids live a vacation life and was not preparing them for real life. She said, "how will they know how to wash clothes or clean the floor if I do it for them all the time."

By now you're thinking, "oh poor Rowan..." Well, poor Rowan my foot. Rowan is a spoiled brat. I can prove this as we are night time potty training her and she gets a candy or toy for any night she doesn't pee in her bed. Her aunt just gave her one of those annoying stuffed animals you can change back into a pillow that you order off t.v. We are constantly bombarded with people telling us how happy she is. Her parents love her. They love her enough to try to teach her right, so we don't pass the buck in Hobby Lobby. Rowan is 4 1/2 and she washed the laundry today...

My Organic Life

For awhile I’ve been thinking about doing a post about all the organic stuff I’m learning in a sort of concise way. Becoming organic does not happen overnight. Neither does spelling the word organic because I always spell it “orgainic" and have to edit.

One of the first things I did was bottled water. I think we all did. We thought we looked so cute with that healthy little bottle while holding our keys and cell phone. Some of us have switched to holding a coffee cup from Lotsabucks. Mine was out of convenience because there’s issues with our water out here. It’s killed a number of coffee pots. So I refuse to drink it because I figure it will kill me sooner or later. We also got huge piles of plastic bottles. We’re doing our part and recycling plastic. Then we got tired of recycling plastic and switched to the giant reusable bottles and got some of those metal bottles to carry around. We also collected cans but then we stopped buying all that soda so no more cans. But the last time I looked it was like $.50 a pound and if it goes higher I might have to raid some of those recycle bins.

There’s some films I have watched. I’ve gotten Jace to watch 2 of them. Most important is Food, Inc. If you watch only one food related film watch this one. There are lots of people out there telling you, you can make a difference but you need to buy their book or machine and they are giving you the same information you find in these movies. What I like about Food, Inc is they tell you how you can make a difference in your own life and others’ simply by eating. When you buy food at the store, the store keeps an inventory of products sold. Based on what customers are buying that’s what they will sell. If you’re choosing healthier or organic items then your store WILL carry it. You don’t have to be a stereotype activist to make change happen.

King Corn was the next film I saw. I believe it was made before Food, Inc but along the same lines. This time you’re taken along from the actual growing of corn to where it goes and how it gets there. I have to say that I find it disturbing when they talk about feeding genetically modified corn to cows, the cows have to take medicine because they get ulcers, then we consume products with corn and cow, and how many over the counter medicines are there for upset tummy and acid reducers? Do you see the connection I see?




Now, we can talk about high fructose corn syrup, or HFCS. Remember the ad that tells you it’s o.k. if it’s in moderation? Have you looked at the ingredients in your food lately? It’s in almost everything . How are you supposed to have it in moderation? Do you know the rate of diabetes in this country? Do you know what the studies show about sterility in hamsters in their third generation after GMS? I am definitely working on cutting that out of our house. And once again big companies are listening. In fact they are listening a lot. I almost feel sorry for all the farmers who have everything riding on their government subsidized corn. There’s a handmade/homemade, organic/natural bandwagon and everyone is jumping onto it.

A typical days worth of juicing for me.

Another movie, book, website, is The Gerson Miracle. This one will tell you about juicing everything and all the supplements, etc, etc. They also have claims that it’s a cure for cancer and every other disease. The only down side is that little part at the end…coffee enemas. I’m just not that strong of a person. Can I tell a difference in my body from juicing? A little. I’m not tired in the middle of the afternoon, but I still managed to lose my shoes today.

The last show I can recommend is the Future of Food. It makes one worry that one day we’ll have to garden in sterilized greenhouses while we wear our white suits because the terminator gene may be floating around in the outside air.

Other small changes we’ve made: We switched to organic eggs bought directly from the chicken growing person farmer. Last week we made the switch to organic milk. I’m buying more from the farmer’s market. I’m watching my grocery store’s organic selection slowly growing. If I’m not buying processed food then I can use that money on organic or natural foods and spend the same amount of money.

So how can you make the change? Switch one item on your grocery list to organic. When you’re happy with that then switch another item. It’s been a few months over here and I still have a long way to go but I’m happy with what I’m seeing so far.

Transfortarium

I love writing a blog because I can make up my own words. I understand the need for spelling and punctuation, but there would probably be more writers if there were fewer English teachers with red pens. Now that I'm all grown up I can misspell and grammatical error to my heart's content. I made up the word transfortarium today because it encompasses two different things both mental and physical. The transfor part is for transformation.

We moved into this house in the winter of 2007. We bought it in the spring of 2008 right before the big real estate crash so we never got to cash in on the sweet tax incentives. Still a little bitter about that, but I ramble... So, since the spring of 2008 when the house became "mine" my proverbial wings started to come forth and want to fly. By flying I mean creativity, an air of excitement, and sometimes charging forth blindly with no plan. That has been my mental transformation. The physical transformation is the house. It houses all my experiments and ideas. It doesn't question me. It just finds a corner to put my latest supplies. It makes me work hard for what I want...stupid rock infested ground. And I am happy for it because it's my safe haven away from the world.

Did you know I own a piece of art? Well, I do. I finally put it up in my evil lair craft hallway. I like it because in one way it feels calm and serene and in another way the girl appears to be waiting for something. A quiet expectancy.

Here's something I did because I'm cheap. I bought this unfinished wood rod for $.99, attached a loop of twine to both ends of a shelf, slid rolls of ribbon through and slipped the rod through the pieces of twine. Easy fix to ribbon everywhere. I like crafting but I cannot do it in chaos.

On my way home from the store I somehow ended up at a yard sale where I found these two items for a total of $2.50. I attached a board to the studs in the wall and then mounted the rack onto it. There are actually rows in it that fit mason size jars. This gets my buttons and what nots out of the way. The other, super out-of-date coat rack I hung on its' side for now and those pegs are just the right size to put ribbon rolls on or hang other odds and ends.

You might think this is a piece of art and you might be right and wrong. I think it does have an artistic concept but it is actually a mason bee house. It was a gift that I have not yet put up. Apparently the little holes are for mason bees which are not supposed to sting you but will help with your garden. I have a feeling mine will attract Africanized honey bees.

Or I can do this with it...

The last part of my made up word is tarium. As in sanitarium. For you young ones out there, a sanitarium was where they put the crazy people before it was politically incorrect to lock up the weirdos and pervs of society. Now they are just medicated and allowed to run amok and I'm pretty sure they keep ending up as my neighbors.

For my word transfortarium it's kind of like this sunflower. Sometimes I look up at it and think, "this is crazy, it's out of control." But it, too, is just growing. Spreading its' proverbial wings. Physically we water and nuture it, waiting for the bloom. Just like my own transformation.

Things I Found Today

I went outside today to look at the wildflowers and plants. They've changed from blues and pinks to yellows and orange. There was also this wild beast that was obviously waiting to eat me up.

Peeking out of one of the squash plants was one of its' flowers with the morning dew.

I decided to go shopping at thrift stores today. I normally don't get very lucky but today was different. I found this beautiful white bill organizer with little black numbers for the days. I think it looks great on my black dresser. The drawer has different size dividers so we'll probably use it as storage for keys and phones. The most interesting part about it was what I found inside. There was a receipt for Schlotzky's from 2007 and a to do list with one of the items saying "check immigration status." I'm sure there's a great story about that.

I stopped in at my most favorite consignment shop, Bada Bling. I hit the $1 sale rack and came out with this shirt, a plain white button down shirt, and some black pants. All in perfect condition.

Not on the dollar rack but still very cool and I couldn't pass up were these shoes. They're Nine West and the sizing was weird. They said 4 1/2 but were really 6 1/2. I consider myself lucky because I usually don't find shoes in my size. Apparently women who wear a size 8 love to get rid of their shoes.

Yes! I am an official owner of a pair of overalls. That makes me a real farmer. But these have sparkly things so I may be disqualified from farmer status. I'm definitely going to wear these a lot and I know they are considered very unstylish or chic. But when have I gone with the flow of what is stylish and chic?

Lastly, I found this gorgeous plaque/tile hanging thing with a chicken. I had to get it for my friend the pirate. I call her a pirate because she broke her foot or leg or something and it's much more interesting sounding than klutz. She is also raising some chickens so it fits her.

The Party's Over

This is all that is left of Rowan's party yesterday. After everyone left I realised...

I DIDN'T TAKE ANY PICTURES!!! OMG!!! WE SUCK... Jace says we were busy being good hosts. The party was great and that Tinker Bell jumper was perfect. Everyone loves those things.


Last night after everyone left, Jace, Rowan and I had a private jumping party. And then we slept. The good kind of sleep from playing all day. Today I'm putting the house back together and letting Rowan wear the balloons like a dress.

I also didn't take pictures because I was distracted. I was at this thing during the day. It's the Renegade Craft Fair. I learned a lot. I got to make my own button and I bought a gardening calendar for Texas. My friend says I have great restraint. (she was buying one of everything)

I did manage to take a picture of the table before the party and before I finished decorating. I had actually done this the night before because I thought I was uber-organized, except for the picture taking.

I did receive a hostess gift. These are knitting needles from Craftiness. I believe she said they were blood wood. If I'm wrong I'm sure she'll leave a comment.

Very soon, maybe even as you read this, you will start seeing some new links for sites and blogs. These all relate to the "Top Secret" project that is evolving over the summer. The goal is for September but I have a feeling we'll be starting sooner.

This week I've been busy with a top secret project and my friend says I can't tell anyone about it because then someone might find out about it. I can tell you that Jace knows and he's excited. It will take most of the summer to get all the details worked out and if it goes ahead as planned then I will tell you. Speaking of going ahead...

I spend a lot of money on bandaids...*sigh*

Hello Corn!!! I love you. Please don't get eaten to smithereens like the lettuce.

Here's the new tomato bed. I used scrap wood and Jace put it together. We filled it with humus, compost and mulch. Today it poured rain. That's like the perfect storm.

Here's a patty pan squash blooming. I think that's what it's called.

Tomorrow is the big party. We're having it rain or shine. Everything is bought, set up, or confirmed for pickup. Can't wait to get pictures! I will feel dead tired tomorrow night.

Renegade Craft Fair

Sometimes a Princess Loses Her Crown

This week has been full of activity and has just flown by. I've been busy playing homesteader/farmer girl, but a catastrophic event took place...

Rowan has great teeth except for one. She's always had great dental checkups, except for biting the dentist. She also had one tooth that was a dud, meaning it was prone to cavities and a big fat pain. Along the way we switched dentists to one she didn't like to bite and it was decided she should get a crown for that tooth since it was going to be 3 or 4 years before she lost it naturally.

She got her crown. A nice, pretty (expensive) crown. It was white on the front so she didn't look like that Jaws character from the old James Bond movie. Did I mention it was expensive? Unfortunately, she did something, we don't know what, and the crown disappeared. Let me tell you it is very unsettling to be sitting around and have your child come up to you with a snaggly grin.

I took her to the dentist on Tuesday so she could miss school, again, and make out with the stuffed animals there. Miss Dr. Dentist said there was no choice but to pull it. We just had to decide how to pull it. Take the liquid medicine and sit around for an hour or get the gas and a shot and pull it 10 minutes later.

Since I am not above bribing Rowan I said, "Rowan can you take the nose medicine (gas) and get your tooth fixed so we can go buy you any toy you want?"

It totally worked. Ten minutes later she was out of there and telling me how her lip was getting bigger and all tingly. We went to Walmart and I was prepared to shell out some serious dough, but I got extremely lucky and she firmly decided she wanted the $20 inflatable swimming pool. It's an awesome pool. It's like laying in a bathtub outside. In fact, there's room for 2 adult people and a child people to lay in it like a bathtub. I know what you're thinking. It's hick. I don't care. I can lay in it and stare at my garden. The sunflower is 6 feet tall and the corn is getting ready to pollinate. Sometimes this is all the rejuvenation a person needs.

This week strawberries were on sale. I wasn't going to pass it up. I bought 4 pounds which is not all that much. I cut up and froze most of them.

I also wanted to try making a pie from scratch. So here's my homemade pie crust with some strawberries.

And here's the finished pie. This morning we ate strawberry pie for breakfast. It was good...

My 100th Post

I noticed the other day that my next post was going to be the 100th post. So woo-hoo for me. The blog continues to change and grow and I'm not sure what direction it's going in so we'll see when we get there.

Today I decided I would make my own vanilla extract. It's incredibly simple and it's something I was kind of surprised with, since I figured it must be very difficult if it costs so much in the store.

The very hard part was finding a whole vanilla bean. I had to go over to the health food store to find it. It cost me $5.89. I need to learn how to grow this, or find some unsupecting fool that I can buy it from.

The next part was to buy some vodka. I did not think this out well enough. If you see a minivan with an obvious mom-looking person drive up and park outside the liquor store at noon, and come out with a bottle in a paper bag, what are you thinking? You're thinking she's making a hurried stop to get the afternoon drunk on by the time the soaps start and before the kids get home from school. At least this is what I think the people standing outside the laundromat were thinking of me. But as you see in the picture I only bought the smallest bottle for $2.19. For that price you know it's got to be quality stuff. And it's named Crystal Palace even though the bottle is plastic.

I knew I needed a container that I could close tightly, so I decided to just use the bottle the vanilla bean is in. I added 3 tablespoons of vodka to the jar, closed it up tight, put it in a paper bag and put it up in a cabinet. It's supposed to be ready in 4 weeks. I only put it in the bag to shield it from light and the recipe didn't say to do that. I figure when I buy it at the store it's in a colored bottle and that is usually to keep a product from degrading due to light exposure. We'll see what happens in a month.

A developing topic is the dog. Onslo. He's 2 years old now. He's a small dog. I've said before that the cat is bigger than him, and she is. She's also very adept at teasing him. She'll sashay close to him waving her tail back and forth. Outside he can't reach her at the end of his lead. So it makes him crazy. She knows it. He won't try to get her when they are both inside. Only outside.

Yesterday I was walking Onslo up and down the street and the cat kept running back and forth and he was desperately trying to get to her and yanking my arm all over the place. We got back and sat on the front steps. At one point he got his head stuck in the railing because he was trying to see what she was doing. I'm thinking we're going to have to saw the railing to get his head out. But we managed to squeeze it back through somehow and we came inside.

Then the fun started. He had a seizure. He's done this before. Overstimulation thanks to the cat. She's going to kill him. So I sat with him wrapped in a towel on my lap, which makes him feel more secure and relax faster. Jace went outside and yelled at the cat which I'm sure sounded like "*&%^$!! blah blah blahblah blah!! Kiki!"

From now on I will have to put the cat in the house before I walk the dog. Thanks useless cat. Oh well, she only has one good eye so she is probably messed up in the head, too. (She came to us with only one good eye, by the way.)

Anyway, thank you everyone for following the blog or reading it. Write if you have suggestions or experiments you would like me to try, within reason, and I'll try to do it. Have a great day Y'all!